Perceptions

How we view the world depends in large part on our life experiences. How we were raised, what we were taught, places we've been, people we've met, all of these things come together to continually define and redefine who we are and what we believe.

In the short month I've been here in Iraq, it has occured to me just how sheltered and cocooned we are as a whole in the United States. Most people I know would have a hard time simply finding Iraq on a map, no less be able to carry on an intelligent conversation about the political, religious or socioeconomic climate of this region of the world. That is in no way a slight on their education or intellect, it is just a product of the lives we lead. We have no real need to be aware of or educated in those subjects, as they have little or no impact on our daily lives. I still include myself in that group of people, and I am here in the midst of it all, at least physically. I am smack in the middle of the country, but I don't know the first thing about the people who live here, aside from some are "good", some are "bad", and some just don't care one way or the other. I don't know much about this place, but I'd like to learn and hope to do so while I am here.

In talking to some of the "door kickers" (Infantry troops who do the door to door searches in the towns and villages here), it's become apparent that the Iraqis are equally clueless about us, but they're far more curious, as we tend to stand out in our tanks and attack helicopters as we roll thru their towns. What I've learned is that the average Iraqi lives in a low-income household, is extremely dedicated to their family, and has about the equivalent of a 3rd grade education. 5 in 8 cannot read or write. Most don't know or care about the government, so long as their family is provided for. The "enemy" you hear about back home, the Suicide bombers, the people who launch the rockets and mortars at our troops, these are just normal everyday people. Most have no intention and no desire to do anyone any harm, they are just scared and trying to provide for their families. The real "enemy" is the people who are putting them up to it.

Here is a common scenario: A father of four, who works 16 hours a day as a farm hand in the fields, has a child who is sick and will die without the proper medication and treatment. He does not have the money or the resources to acquire the medicine or medical care on his own (no health insurance, medicare or welfare here), so he goes to the local insurgency leader. These people are the ones directly funded by Al Qaeda, Syria, Iran, etc. They have the money, they have the resources, what they lack are the warm bodies to do the dirty work. The insurgents agree to help the man's child and provide for his family. All he has to do is... (Blow himself up in a crowd, launch a rocket at a US convoy, set up a roadside bomb, etc). Of course shortly after he does so (providing he is still alive), a bunch of rather intense individuals wearing uniforms and carrying large guns show up on his doorstep. He's just become "The enemy", but all he was trying to do was save his child's life. You don't hear about that part on CNN, or Fox News, or in any media outlet. Why? Perceptions. It's far easier to just pass them off collectively as "The Enemy", but this situation goes way beyond simple black and white, cut and dried answers. Yes, the man did "attempt" (usually halfheartedly at best) to bring harm to US troops, but given his options, who wouldn't have done the same? I would have.

Another thing about perceptions is that they can lull you into forgetting where you are. This has happened to me several times already, and quite honestly, I hope it continues as it gives me just a brief break in reality, and that is enough. Example: Coming "home" to Balad tonight as we droned along at 28,000' against a 110 knot headwind, I caught myself staring out at the lights of whatever small town we were over. The sight was so serene and soothing, with the moonlight reflecting off the tops of the scattered cloud deck, and the lights of the town twinkling, peeking out from behind the clouds here and there. It was a beautiful sight, and the soft Christmas music I had playing on my iPod just completed the scene. It was perfect. All of a sudden I was back in California, somewhere high over the San Joaquin Valley, it was Christmas time (easily my favorite time of year), I was on my way home, and I could even smell fresh baked cookies (I think one of my passengers brought some aboard...). Then all of a sudden, the radio crackled as an F-16 pilot requested a higher altitude. In an instant, I was thrust back into the C-12 cockpit somewhere over central Iraq. The town I was watching was no longer in California, but in a Middle Eastern war zone. Slap! Back to reality, but the perception (or misperception as the case may be) of being back in California was so real, even if just for an instant. The view was identical, and it brought back fond memories of when I was first learning to fly, more than 17 years ago. It seems like yesterday.

This place, this war, this entire experience has already and will continue to change who I am. It will not by any means define who I am, but it definitely reshapes the mold a little. One of the things they pounded into our heads before we left home, is that we will not return home as the same person. I found it odd that anyone would ever expect to be exactly the same after such an experience, but apparently, many people try. They resist any sort of change, I assume because they are afraid they might not like the results? A favorite song of mine says "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice". The same is true here, you can either accept that you will be changed by your experiences, and embrace and learn from them, or you can spend all your time resisting something that is inevitable. Either way, you will still be a different person in the end. I have already been affected by this experience, as I am sure you can tell by reading my "before" and "After" blog posts. I can see the change, so I am sure it's more than obvious. I don't think it's a bad thing in any way, I just feel like my knowledge and understanding of the world we live in is slowly expanding, and that is good. I can feel myself maturing in many ways, as I learn that there are realities beyond our own.

Why are we "really" here in Iraq? Who knows. Will our being here solve problems in the long term? I hope so and I think so. Are we helping people in need? Definitely. Are we doing the right thing? There is no one right or one wrong. Only perceptions...