Step By Step

As I sit here tonight, writing my first blog since Christmas day, I have to remind myself that we've been here in Iraq for over 3 months already. The old saying "Time flies when you're having fun" doesn't necessarily apply, because I would hardly call this experience "fun", but I've found that the time is indeed beginning to pass quickly. The irony is that at the same time, it seems like I have been gone forever, and still have an eternity and a day yet to go before I can return home.

More often these days, I am hearing people saying that they're "ready to go home." Who isn't? Sure, I miss my family like crazy. I miss doing the silly little things that most people normally don't even think twice about. I miss being able to go where I want, when I want. I even miss waking up with a little Jaislyn foot in my mouth in the middle of the night, but the fact remains that we're not yet even 1/3 of the way thru this deployment. There is nothing that can be done to shorten our time here (barring serious injury or criminal activity), so we're faced with a choice: We can ignore the calendar and maintain a positive attitude, or we can focus on and complain about things beyond our control. I choose the former, simply because I refuse to sit around and think about being miserable. Depression is a self-sustaining, downward spiral and it can ruin people in a hurry. I think being miserable is in part, a conscious descision. If you focus on the negative, and dismiss the positive, it only stands to reason that you will be unhappy with your situation whatever it may be. It's true, there aren't many positives here, and there are lots of negatives to choose from, but notice the wording..."choose". There ARE positives here, we just have to search for them and be willing to recognize them when we come across them.

Some of the positives I've found here include: The ability to talk to my family and friends on a daily basis; the chance to meet new people and make new friends; the opportunity to go to places most people will never see; the satisfaction I get from doing my job as safely and professionally as possible; the pride I feel in serving our country; the beauty of a sunset; the serenity of a night sky full of stars; the fact that I sleep in a real bed, in my own real room (as opposed to a cot in a tent); and the list goes on.

No, those are not the kinds of positive things most people would focus on. In fact, I'm sure in most normal situations, those are not things most people would even notice at all. It is amazing at how much we take for granted in our daily lives, but being in a situation like mine has a tendency to remind us of all we have to be thankful for, even the little things.

On the last leg of tonight's flight, I was listening to a song called "Jacob's Ladder", and it pretty well summed up my attitude towards this "phase" of my deployment. "All I want for tomorrow is to get it better than today, step by step, one by one, higher and higher." Each day I get thru here is one day that I'm closer to going home and seeing everyone I love again. The more I focus on the positives here, the quicker the time passes, the quicker time passes, the more positives I find. I only wish everyone here was able to see things the same way, and I hope everyone at home can find the positives in this as well.

The real challenge however, is not getting through the next 8 months, the real challenge for me will be staying focused on all the positives that surround me back home, and not taking them for granted. Step by step, one by one.