More Ponderings...

It’s funny the way the brain works sometimes.

The closer I get to leaving for my “vacation”, the more I find myself watching TV shows about prisons. Subconsciously, I think I am drawing some sort of parallel between being incarcerated and being deployed. The two do share a few similarities: I will not be allowed to venture off base (not that where I’m going is much of a tourist destination), I will not be allowed to wear civilian clothes, I will be living in a small 8x10 “room” (Really ½ of an intermodal sea/land container turned Casa De Grunt), have limited contact with friends and family, and I will have few culinary options (Burger King and Taco Bell notwithstanding.)

On the other hand, I will be flying almost daily, I will get to see parts of the world most people never will (and probably wouldn’t want to, truth be told), I am not there for any other reason than because I volunteered to be, and that means a lot. People go to prison for something they’ve done wrong. I am being sent to Iraq not as punishment, but because my unit has enough faith in my talents and abilities to trust that I will uphold their standards of safety and professionalism under some fairly harsh conditions. I am proud of that.

In my 13 years wearing this uniform, I’ve been fortunate enough to have always been stationed stateside. This will be my first overseas deployment, and in many ways, I feel that I owe it to those who’ve gone before me. I know many people who’ve already spent two, three or even four tours in Iraq. They too have families and friends, yet they continue without complaint. Who am I to complain? I am thankful for their sacrifices, and ready to make my own.

People sometimes ask me if there is any way I can “get out of it” and stay home. Sure, there probably is, but the cold hard truth is that if I don’t go, someone else will have to and I would have to try to sleep knowing that I’ve taken someone else away from their friends and family. No, this is not on top of the list of things I want to do, but it is something I need to do. Because I’ve never been deployed, I’ve always felt as if I was “getting away” with something. I wear the uniform proudly to be sure, but I’ve not yet done anything to feel that I’ve earned the right to wear it. This deployment should solve that dilemma.